15/07/2014

選擇快樂

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  • Mei Ling

    Mei Ling

    廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships

    鑽石媒人Mei Ling

  最近受無線電視的邀請到節目《讀上癮》上分享一本我最喜歡的書。我選了Samuel Johnson的《雷塞拉斯,阿比西尼國王子傳》,此書又被稱為「生活選擇」。為何選中它?此書確實令我著迷,因為在二百年後的今天, 大部分人的行徑依舊跟書中的雷塞拉斯一樣。

 

  Samuel Johnson (1709年  – 1784年)曾當過13個月的牛津大學學生,後來因負擔不起學費而被迫輟學。不過,人們會稱他為Dr. Johnson,因為他在英國文學上的偉大貢獻獲牛津大學承認,並授予博士頭銜。Boswell形容他為「唯一真正的文學評論家」。Dr. Johnson不只如此,他是個出色的詩人、散文家、傳記作家、編輯及詞典編纂者。他於1775年編纂的《A Dictionary of the English Language》為現代英語帶來深遠的影響,至今被譽為「其中一項舉世知名的學術研究」。有超過一個世紀的時間,此書成為最可靠的字典,直至牛津字典於150年後出現才被超越。

 

  阿比西尼國在小說中是位於埃塞俄比亞的「快樂谷」。當地氣候宜人,鳥聲悠揚,天空湛藍,水果鮮甜,鮮花又朵朵盛放……在這個完美國度,美麗、安逸及愉悅簇擁著王子雷塞拉斯,可是他卻不知情由地感到不快樂。在來自外地的智者影響下,他決定「逃離」身處的完美王國,尋找一個更完美、更值得欣賞,能使他更快樂的「生活選擇」。離開護蔭是個不易的決定,但他最終下定決心,攜同他的智囊、姊姊及她的僕人出發。

 

  故事基本上記述了雷塞拉斯的整個尋找快樂之旅。他在旅途中遇上了各式各樣的人,有老有幼,有已婚的有未婚的,有孩子的也有不育的。由墜落者到謙謙君子,由學識之士到老粗,由城市人到鄉村農夫,由忠誠者到不忠者……他曾與腰纏萬貫的巨擘進餐,又曾與貧苦大眾一起進食,但他卻找不到一個完全快樂的人。「在生活的每一處,逆來順受佔絕大部分,享受佔非常少。」他總結。

 

  他的姊姊與她的僕人感情深厚。當僕人被阿拉伯的土匪擄去,姊姊悲痛莫名。看到困於哀傷陰霾下的姊姊,他明白到愛的反面擁有令人難以承受的影響力。如果這就是從愛中享受快樂的代價,拒愛是否一個更輕鬆的選擇?故事的結尾,雷塞拉斯回到他的快樂谷。幻想破滅,他沒有變得更滿足,只是無奈地接受。因為快樂對他而言是虛無縹緲,又難以觸及的。

 

  雷塞拉斯的快樂概念有根本性的缺憾,這是故事帶出的寓意。他認為揀選「生活選擇」就如在架上取物一樣,到手後便從此快樂地生活下去。事實上,快樂不是在某處或任何一個地方可找到的實物,快樂就在其本身。

 

  當你懂得珍惜眼前的幸福,並在較你貧乏的人面前,展現足夠的包容與慈愛,你將在平和中自處。就是這種深層、內在的滿足感建立出正面的態度,讓你邁步走過所有逆境,這就是快樂。

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)

 

The Choice of Life

 

  I was interviewed by TVB’s program Bookworm(讀上癮) recently where they asked me to talk about my favourite book. I chose Samuel Johnson’s Rasselas – The Prince of Abyssinia, otherwise known as “The Choice of Life”. Why? indeed I am fascinated by the fact that 200 years later, many of us still behave in exactly the same way Rasselas did.

 

  Samuel Johnson (1709  – 1784), actually attended Oxford University for only 13 months before he was forced to leave due to lack of funds. Nevertheless, he was often referred to as Dr. Johnson because Oxford later conferred an honorary Doctor degree on him in recognition of the immense contributions he made to English literature. Boswell called him “ the only truly great literary critic” . Dr. Johnson was a lot more than that. He was a distinguished poet, essayist, biographer, editor and lexicographer . His “A Dictionary of the English Language” published in 1775 had a far reaching effect on modern English and has been hailed as “one of the most celebrated single achievements of scholarship”. It was the only reliable dictionary  for over a century until Oxford English Dictionary was published 150 years later.

 

  Abyssinia is a fictitious “Happy Valley” located somewhere in Ethiopia. There the weather is pleasant, the birds sing melodiously, the sky is blue, the fruits are sweet and the flowers divine... Prince Rasselas was surrounded by beauty, comfort and joy in a perfect world and yet he was unhappy without understanding why. Influenced by the wisdom of a sage who came from the outside world, he decided to “escape” from his perfect kingdom in search of a more perfect, more appropriate “Choice of Life” that would make him happier. It wasn’t easy to escape from the sanctuary but he eventually managed, taking his wise counsel, his sister and her maid in tow.

 

  The story basically covers Rasselas’ journey in search of happiness. He met all sorts of people during his travels, the young and the old, the married and the unmarried, those blessed with children and those without. From the decadent to the modest, from the educated to the uncouth, from city slickers to village peasants,  from the faithful to the unfaithful…. He dined with people in mega wealth and ate with those in abject poverty, and could not find anybody who was absolutely happy. He concluded that ‘Life was everywhere a great deal to be endured and very little to be enjoyed”.

 

  His sister and her maid were extremely close. When the maid was kidnapped by Arabian robbers, his sister was devastated. Seeing how grief stricken his sister was, he realized that the reverse side of love was too much to bear. If that is the price the joy of love exacts, perhaps not finding love was an easier option?  The story ends with Rasselas finally going home to the Happy Valley. Completely disenchanted, he is not now more content, just more resigned. For he has come to terms that happiness is elusive and cannot easily be found.

 

  The moral of the story is that Rasselas’s concept of happiness is fundamentally flawed. He had thought he could pick up a“The Choice of Life”as he would something off the shelf, and live happily ever after. The truth is, happiness is not  an entity to be found some where or anywhere, it comes from within .

 

  Once you have mastered the ability to count your own blessings, and have cultivated sufficient latitude to be tolerant and charitable to those who are less endowed, you will be at peace with yourself. It is this deep, inner sense of contentment which fosters a positive attitude, letting you walk tall through all adversities in stride, that is happiness. 

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

【etnet 30周年】多重慶祝活動一浪接一浪,好禮連環賞! ► 即睇詳情

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