一位女士問我：「找到好老公的機會有多少？」

　　我回應說：「那要視乎她有多努力。」

　　聽罷，她難以置信地盯著我：「我以為給你錢，你便會幫我找到好老公，如果要我自己努力，我找你幹嘛？」

　　這是一個深的誤解，我們不是開舖，你不能到我們的辦公室，付了錢便期望我們給你一個老公，這是不切實際的，而且我們沒有任何男人賣！我們只可幫你備戰、提供「相睇」的機會，除此以外，成功與否便靠你有多努力了。

　　人生充滿著一連串的奮鬥。從小學開始，我們就要努力讀書，才能升上中學，大學；想進心儀學校，就要更努力爭取好成績。無論是駕車、打網球、打麻雀、彈鋼琴、上網、跳舞或煮一桌好菜，我們都要花時間、耐性、勤奮地練習，才可熟能生巧。我不明白為何有人覺得找老公一場「機會遊戲」！俗語都說：「工欲善其事，必先利其器」。

　　那我們可以做甚麼準備工夫呢？看看以下貼士。

1、體態方面

　　不要「計劃」減3-4公斤，應立刻坐言起行，進行瘦身大計！不要「想著」參加健身班或做運動，立刻出外做運動吧！如果你想美白牙齒，修剪頭髮、做運動、美容、整理衣櫃、改善化妝技巧、換一副新眼鏡，不要光想而不行動，拖延對生活是沒有幫助的。

2、心理方面

　　如果你之前經歷一些不太好的關係，請確保你已經痊癒，不會被以往的陰霾影響。可能你會說「講比做容易得多」，如果你不能逃離陰霾的魔掌，請找專業人士的治療或指導。如果你身心都萎靡不振，沒有男人會願意接近你，因為你的負面能量嚇走了所有人。

3、精神方面

　　你現在對愛情的觀念正確嗎？適合與異性約會嗎？你之前有過愛情關係嗎？你懂得與別人分享和建立愛情關係嗎？如果你曾「相睇」幾次，有多少人願意再與你約會？會不會與很多人「相睇」後，發覺沒有一個適合你？你是不是視自己為大明星？你知道自己想找甚麼類型的伴侶嗎？你的期望實際嗎？

4、情感方面

　　你已準備好，迎接新的戀情嗎？你會不會間中感到沮喪，想全世界都容忍你？你總是匆匆忙忙、缺乏耐性、脾氣差嗎？你多疑、倚靠別人、小器、愛操控別人嗎？你是不是一個只懂享受，不懂為另一半付出的自私鬼？你有多細心和大方？你懂得愛別人嗎？

5、個人方面

　　你是個活躍，有多方面興趣、知識、在多個範疇的話題都能搭上一、兩句的人嗎？抑或是個沒甚麼嗜好，除了談工作的話題外，與別人沒有其他話題的大悶蛋？

　　作為一個專業的媒人，除了介紹人選給客戶之外，最重要是教導「拍拖」的技巧，傳授武功之後，成功與否便要看你自己有多努力了。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Working Hard For Love

　　A lady acquaintance asked me the other day what her chances are in finding Mr. Right? I said it depends how hard she is prepared to work. She stared at me in disbelief. " I thought I would pay you to do the job? If I had to work so hard myself, why would I need you? "

　　Therein lies the deep, deep misunderstanding. We are not a retail shop, you don’t come in here, pay your money and we give you a husband – it doesn’t work that way, we don’t have any men to sell! What we sell are know-how and opportunities, the rest is up to you.

　　Life is a long series of continuous effort. We have to work hard in primary school before we can progress to secondary school, we have to work a lot harder before we can be accepted, and finally graduate from university. Whether we want to drive a car, play tennis, mahjong or the piano, surf the internet, cook a good meal or do ballroom dancing… there is absolutely nothing in life we can successfully master without first having invested a great deal of time, patience and hard work in perfecting the skill. Why would anyone think that finding a spouse is purely a game of chance? As the old saying goes, "Do your homework first and then wait for luck. "

　　What kind of preparation work is one supposed to do?

Physically

　　Don’t "plan on" losing that 3-4 Kilos, start losing that extra weight now. Don’t "have it in mind" to join a gym and do some exercise, go there today. If you need teeth whitening, hair trimming, an exercise or grooming regime, sort out your wardrobe, improve your make up, change your spectacles, don’t "intend" to do it, just do it. Procrastination offers no merit.

Psychologically

　　If you had experienced a bad relationship previously, be certain that you are completely healed and that the ghost of the past no longer haunts you. This is easier said than done, if you cannot get rid of the long shadows, seek professional. If your mind and heart are completely clogged with compost, nobody would want to go in there because your soul smells. 

Mentally

　　Are you actually in the correct frame of mind to date? Have you had a relationship before? Do you know 　　how to build one and share your life with another person? If you have been out on a handful of dates, how many of them wanted to see you again? Everybody?Nobody? Or you have met a large number of candidates and nobody is ever good enough for you? Are you a legend in your own mind? Do you know what you want? Are your requests realistic? 

Emotionally

　　Are you emotionally available? Do you get moody sometimes and expect the world to grin and bear it? Are you always in a hurry, being impatient, foul tempered perhaps? Are you suspicious? Needy? Unforgiving? Domineering? Do you know how to give? Or do you just want to get? How considerate and forgiving are you? Do you know how to love?

Personally

　　Are you an active person with a wide range of interests, knowledgeable and capable of conducting an engaging conversation across a wide spectrum of subjects? Or apart from your job and work related topic, you really have little to say because you have few interests and are basically a rather boring person?

　　As a professional matchmaker, we don’t just make introductions, we teach you the skill and show you the way. How successful you are depends on how hard you work.