29/05/2012

點解咁多香港女人無老公?(2)

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  • Mei Ling

    Mei Ling

    廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships

    鑽石媒人Mei Ling

5.財政獨立

 

  以前,女人鮮有謀生方法,因而要「服從」丈夫,讓他養活自己;但今時今日,女人財政獨立、賺錢能力可與男人媲美,根本無需要和以前一樣,去順從丈夫的命令。

 

6.出差頻密難以建立關係

 

  職業女性經常有出差的機會,有人認為會擴展眼界,有人就會覺得辛苦;有人視之為環遊世界的特權,有人會覺得是一件苦差。不論你對「出差」有如何看法,現實是:經常出差令女人的私人時間變少,難以建立情感關係。

 

7.外來女人加入競爭

 

  香港現有300,000名家庭傭工,嫁給香港男性,意味著獲得更好生活的通行證。為了要達到這「目標」,她們會傾心於任何對她們表示丁點兒興趣的男人。以前這些女人多數著眼於工薪階層的男人;現時,她們的眼光有逐步上升的趨勢。為甚麼?因為比起香港女人,她們要求不高、更聽話、更崇拜自己的男人,而對男人來講,娶個外來女人,經濟負擔則更輕。

 

  同樣的競爭發生於內地女人身上,當她們要「追捕」一個男性時,她們變得具吸引力、侵略性和毫無顧忌。南方的女人有機心,而上海和北方的女人就更甚。

 

  現時,沒有實質的數據顯示,有多少內地女人「偷」了我們的男人,或者,你可以參考一下以下的數字:香港有700萬人,年齡乎介於30至50歲的女性(不論已婚還是單身)有130萬人。然而,過去14年裏,已婚女性所佔的百分比不斷下降。這條數學題,你懂得計嗎?

 

8. 被寵壞的男士

 

  正正因為不少女人擁有優良的條件,使香港的男士們目眩神迷,亦寵壞了這班男性,讓條件沒那麼好的男性都會想要娶條件比他們高的女性,並視之為「正常」。再者,誘惑比比皆是,而且社會某程度上使之合理化,偶爾更會偏離伴侶之間的「忠誠」。

 

9. 缺乏約會文化

 

  在傳統中國人的婚姻裏,都是「父母之命,媒妁之言」,根本沒有「約會文化」可言。今時今日,一個男人同時約會2至3個女人會被稱為「多情」;假如女人這樣的話,更會被視為水性楊花而不受尊重。

 

  如果你周圍的親戚朋友傳統且八卦,那「約會」本身已被視為一種成就。眾目睽睽下,就連許多聰明女人都缺乏經驗,不知應如何跟男人相處,更別提留意潛在的追求者了。

 

  總括來說,在香港搵老公並不是在小池塘釣魚,你的成功應取決於你有多寬容和準備多妥協。

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)

 

Why are there so many women in Hong Kong without husbands? (Part 2)

 

5)  Financial

 

  Once upon a time, women with little or no means of making a living would be more susceptible to “obeying” husbands who were the family’s sole bread winners. Today’s women earn just as much if not more than their men. With financial stability comes independence, and there is no longer the pressing need to put up with the nonsense chauvinistic husbands command.

 

6) Frequent travels

 

  With top jobs comes frequent travelling. Some consider an extension of geographical boundaries empowering, others find that laborious… Some consider globetrotting a privilege, others find it a chore… Be it a perk or a pain, the reality of frequent travelling is that it gives the traveler even less time for herself, making it even more difficult to build relationships.

 

7) Fierce competition

 

  For the 300,000 domestic helpers here, marrying a Hong Kong man means a passport to a better life; they would hence prostrate themselves before any men who show the slightest bit of interest. There was a time when these women would only appeal to working class men; nowadays, there is an upward spiral to this trend, why?  These women are less demanding, more obedient, they worship their men, and pose much less financial pressure than local Chinese women.

 

  Such competition is trivial when compared with that of tenacious mainlanders with a similar agenda. These formidable competitors are more attractive, aggressive and quite without scruples when it comes to hunting down a man. The southern mainlanders are bad, the women from Shanghai and the north are worse.

 

  There are no statistics available with regard to the exact number of Mainland women who are conniving to steal our men, just draw your own conclusion from these statistics: of 7 million people in HK, women between the age of 30 and 50 (incl. both married and unmarried ones) total only 1.3 million – really not a lot, and yet the percentage of women now married has been declining continuously for the past 14 years ! You do the math.

 

8) Bigotry condoned

 

  Precisely because there are so many women with excellent criteria available, Hong Kong men are notoriously spoiled by this dazzling array of choices. It is not uncommon to see that even those men who have little to offer can exact unreasonable demands and land themselves plum picks. Temptation is flagrant and bigotry is condoned to such an extent that even “would-have-been faithful” will occasionally stray, simply because they can.

 

9) No dating culture

 

  Chinese marriages were traditionally arranged by parents and matchmakers; we had no dating culture in our history. Even today, a man simultaneously dating 2-3 ladies would be teased as a philanderer, a Don Juan. A woman doing likewise would be considered promiscuous, frowned upon as not being respectable. If you are living within a very traditional Chinese environment with nosy friends and relatives, the act of dating in itself might already be an achievement. Without sufficient experience, many intelligent women do not know how to interact with men, let alone potential suitors.

 

  In conclusion, finding a husband in Hong Kong is not unlike fishing in a small pond where there are more frogs than there are garoupas. Your success shall depend to a great extent on how tolerant you are and how much compromise you are prepared to make.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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