2012-09-11
誠實得駭人的宣傳電郵
每日收到不下十個宣傳電郵、電話、短訊,還在Facebook給陌生人「亂tag」!
在電影《He’s just not that into you》裏,經常於網上嘗試結識異性又屢次失敗的Mary這樣形容通訊科技帶來的煩惱:“I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”
我想倒過來這樣形容被宣傳轟炸的煩擾:I’m just not that into your promotional offers. I have to go around checking all these different portals just to reject seventeen useless offers a day. It’s exhausting!
一些機構不但濫發宣傳電郵,還漠視收件者的需要及認知。以下分別舉一個令人毫無頭緒及一個誠實得駭人的真實例子(當中的名稱、數據為虛構):
例一. 令人毫無頭緒的電郵
Dear alextsang.197208
We have upgraded our interface to provide additional services:
- access to a wide range of entries;
- EBSCOhost search and full text support;
- facet technology to help modify the search query;
- Refworks for directly exporting records to it; and
- tagging support, etc.
Regards
Mary Smith Ltd.
相信很多讀者看畢這封電郵也不明白優化介面帶來甚麼好處。
首先,從公司名稱不能了解它提供什麼服務,應至少提供公司網址。
從內容可估計該公司提供search及record的功能,但是其他用字不是過於空泛(wide range of entries, records, tagging),就是過於專業卻欠闡釋 (EBSCOhost, facet technology, Refworks),賴得理你是否看得明白,令人一頭霧水。我嘗試搜尋及了解EBSCOhost和Refworks,認為可這樣交代,使收件者明白其好處:
- EBSCOhost search, which allows you to search multiple databases of full-text articles in every subject area from leading information providers;
- Refworks, an online bibliographic management programme which allows you to create personal database of references and generate bibliographies in your desired formats;
另外,引用顧客電郵地址@前的字母數字為稱呼,非常奇怪,顧客亦絕不會因而覺得電郵是為他度身撰寫。應抽取顧客登記的名字或簡單用Sir/Madam作稱呼。
例二. 誠實得駭人的電郵
電郵提供學生修畢課程後的出路報告,目的當然是希望收件人報讀課程。報告數據精細無遺,如實報導,大概是這模樣:
Profile of 2011 Graduates
Number of graduates xxx
Job engagement 58.3%
Further studies 32.6%
Seeking employment 7.7%
Others (emigration, going back to China, not seeking employment, disappear, in prison, in drug rehabilitation centre, seeking counselling) 1.4%
共有90.9%畢業生成功就業或繼續升學,數據正面。仍有少量畢業生在找尋工作亦屬正常。可是,失蹤、入獄、戒毒、尋求輔導,卻令人驚訝止步。報告自當真確無誤,但試想想,學生應該不是因為修畢課程而失蹤、入獄、戒毒、尋求輔導吧﹖建議因應目標學生選材,這裏寫Others 1.4% 已足夠。
這兩封電郵內容真確,但撰寫時,明顯沒有從收件人的角度思量,難以達到其宣傳目的。小則令收件人無奈,大則有損自己或機構的形象,甚至惹來投訴。
樂本健【年度感謝祭】維柏健及natural Factors全線2件7折► 了解詳情